I admit, I am so cheating with this post, but come one, I wrote the original so long ago nobody remembers the gloriousness of my favorite Vegas trip! Because I love ya and because today is all about V, I give you, the best VEGAS TRIP EVER.
Any of you ever been to the Thunder? Oh, I so recommend it.
sister got our tickets and holy crap. We were right there, front &
center. There was so much happening on our table, those beefcakes give
you your money's worth, junk is all in your face. I think one in our
party might of bit one of the beefcakes. No, it wasn't me.
favorite part of the show was the MC. He was a fireball. Funny,
smoking hot, just delicious. I could have taken just a show with him
Oh, wait, I did.
In one part
of the show they are calling for volunteers. Not me, I am not one to
volunteer. I'm hooting & hollering though, just because. I wasn't
really paying attention to my sister though. Turns out I should have.
She's got some lungs on her, that one. Lungs that the MC took notice
of, cause he turns to her and she points to me. Oh, yeah, my little
sister volunteered me to get on that stage. I've got a good buzz going,
so I jump up, (might have crawled over some ladies) to get up there
with his hotness.
Then we get told
what we are volunteering for. We've got to put on a show. A show of
our best FAKED orgasm. Um, yeah, fake an orgasm ON STAGE. In front of
his hotness. In front of a crowd full of drunk ass women.
Volunteer # 1 goes up, she's an amateur. It was ok. Not really believable. I'm laughing hysterically.
2 goes up, again, she's just not giving it her all. I'm still
laughing hysterically, think I might be deficient of oxygen in parts of
my brain at this point.
Volunteer # 3 goes up. The
MC puts his arm around her waist, she's got a grip on him that the jaws
of life wouldn't be able to cut thru. He smells so good, like Irish
Spring Soap. He says something to # 3, but she's still busy laughing
like a complete crazy lady at this point, the oxygen in her brain has
been replaced by Irish Spring Soap and Aussie hotness. She starts
breathing real heavy like, eye lids get real heavy, Aussie hottie is
gripping her more firmly now and then # 3 loses it. She forgot to the
whole FAKING part and let one loose right there on that stage. No
joke. Have you ever been on total sensory overload? I have, one time,
on stage at the Thunder from down Under. I ended up on my knees, my
face all in his hotness's crotch area (yes, it smelled awesome).
He pulls me up and looks at me, and I'm just a puddle at this point.
It's kinda quiet in the room now (this could be completely inaccurate, a
bomb could have gone off in the room, but I wasn't hearing a thing), I
think folks are a little aware that I just lost my shit on that
stage. The MC looks at me and says, "Wow, your mom would be so proud
right now". My sister jumps up and says, "She is, she's right here!!!"
I have never laughed so hard in my life. My mom was so red she was
purple. I'm laughing as I type this.
Volunteer # 4 goes, we all laugh, she wins blah, blah, blah.
however, was ok with that. I walked out feeling very much relaxed,
with a calendar and mouse pad. The rest of the evening is a bit of a
blur. I know we continued with the walking around & drinking. I
was now a bit famous, lots of random strangers coming up to congratulate
me. I got some plastic penises thrown at me at one point. Think I put
those in my pocket, but again, it's a bit hazy.
It was an epic Vegas trip and I know I'll never have one that even comes close to surpassing it in absolute greatness!
How 'bout you? Got any amazing Vegas stories you're willing to share??